


Walk Away.

by Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Mention of past molestation, Talk of suicide attempt, mention of murder, reader is a badass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:18:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7483914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter/pseuds/Small_Town_Wayward_Daughter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chibs gets a first hand look at how strong you are, however he knows that even the strong need someone sometimes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! Thank you for reading! <3

If you had told me three years ago that I would be where I am right now I would have told you that you were nuts. I used to be strong, smart, brave I never would have let myself get into this mess but here I am. Far from Oklahoma and stuck in an abusive relationship wishing more and more each day that I had never been born. I woke up one night last week and decided that I was done, done with the guy I was stuck with, done with this life, and done with who I was. I stuffed some stuff in my backpack, kicked the glass out of my window and left. I was going to keep walking until I found somewhere that called to me, I needed a fresh start. I walked through the night and was in some town called Charming in a gas station parking lot when _Dick face_ I mean my ex, Ty found me. He pulled around me, screeched to a stop and lunged out of his hunk of junk car.  
"What the fuck F/N! I looked for you all fucking week!" He shouted into my face with breath that reeked like beer.  
"Clearly I was leaving you!" I yelled back  
"You can't just leave! We were fine, we've been fine for a year, what happened?" I started laughing and he slapped me, I licked the blood off my lip and looked at him.  
"We haven't been fine since we got together. I am done being your fucking punching bag, I'm done with your bullshit and I am done pretending to enjoy the pitiful attempt that you force on me that you call sex. I would rather you killed me then live one more second with you." He slammed me against the car and I waited for his fist to connect but it never came.  
"I think you should be going now boy-o." Said a thick Scottish accent from above me. I opened my eyes and saw that a tall man was standing between Ty and I His hair was dark, he had broad shoulders, and I could feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.  
"I ain't going anywhere with out her. Walk away old man. I didn't spend all that time training her just to let her walk." I sighed and walked around the two of them to face Ty.  
"Are you fucking deaf? I'm done with you." He reached out for me and I kicked him in the balls, as he fell to the ground I knelt next to him. "I will kill you if you try to touch me again." I kicked him in the stomach and turned around to walk away.  
"Lass? You forgot your bag." The man called out.  
"Thanks." I muttered and went back for it. I went to grab it from him but he pulled it back and I looked up at him confused.  
"Are you alright?" He asked and I nodded, holding my hand out for my bag. "Are you sure?"  
"Look, thanks for the save and all but I don't need your help from here." He smiled at me and I really took a minute to take in his features. Dark hair with some white in it, dark eyes that were soft now though a moment ago were hard and cold. He had scars on his cheeks, kind of like adding to his smile but it didn't diminish from his looks. He was taking in my appearance too and I knew what he was seeing. Matted brown curly hair, blue eyes, dirty bruised face and neck, I had always weighed more then most and that was still the case now. I had on skinny jeans, combat boots, and a Doctor Who T-shirt. He had to be at least 6 foot, he towered over my 5'5 frame, not only in height but presence yet I didn't feel intimidated by him.  
"Like what you see lass?" I just looked at him and smiled as Ty got up and shuffled to his car to drive away.  
"Call me crazy but my mama raised me better then to flirt with a man after he saves me from a ruffian." He chuckled and nodded.  
"That's a nice accent there darlin'."  
"I like yours as well. I'm F/N. Oklahoma." I held out my hand and he took it in his larger one. I saw him look at the tattoo on my wrist, and the scars. My tattoo was in elegant script that read 'Non Tiembo Mala' with two small angel wings under it folded into a heart.  
"Chibs. Belfast."  
"That the name your mama gave you?"  
"Filip but these-" He motioned to the scars on his cheeks. "Make me Chibs." I nodded and tugged my hand free when he didn't let it go right away.  
"I should be going."  
"Where are you headed?"  
"Why do you care?"  
"I saved you from a ruffian, I have a vested interest in you now darlin'." He handed me my bag and I slipped the straps onto my shoulders.  
"Well I have no plans, I am a leaf on the wind. Watch how i soar." He gave me a weird look and I just shook my head. My geek tendencies were private and something that I was rather proud of. "I think we should just shake hands and part ways."  
"Or you could let me buy you a burger and we could get to know each other better." I sighed and looked at him.  
"Do I have a choice?" He grinned and shook his head. "Fine. But you can't fix me or whatever you're planning Chibs."  
"Not looking to fix what isn't broken. Just wanna get to know a pretty girl." I scoffed.  
"Got a bruise fetish Filip?" He gave me a look before he took my hand and tugged me over to his motorcycle. He handed me the spare helmet and waited for me to climb up behind him before he started the bike. "Where are we going?"  
"Taking you to get some food." He drove for about fifteen minutes before he pulled up to a house, he pulled into the drive way and turned off the bike. He must've felt my unease because he turned to look at me over his shoulder. "Nothing to worry about, I live here and I thought you might like to clean up is all." I slid off the bike wearily and he smiled at me. "Really, nothing bad will come of you I promise. Just a shower and some food." I nodded and followed him inside. His house was nice, spacious, a lot of dark wood and dark suede furniture. It felt warm, homey and smelled like cigarettes, and something else that was all Chibs. He showed me around and led me the bathroom so that I could shower while he cooked. It felt nice to be clean and when I wandered into the kitchen a little while later I knew he was horrified. I knew he though a lot of my bruises were just dirt. "Christ." He muttered under his breath and I just ran a hand through my curly hair.  
"Nothing to worry about. Doesn't hurt anymore." I muttered and he scoffed at me. I looked at him and he just looked away. "Look, thanks for the shower but I-"  
"No." I just bit my lip and looked at the ground. "It's almost done, get some plates would ya?" He pointed at a cabinet and I went and got out flatware and brought them over to him. He reached out to touch my face and I didn't flinch. I just looked at him and he leaned down to kiss my cheek. "Thanks Lass."  
"I'm nothing if not helpful." I told him and stepped away from him, I wasn't gonna allow myself to get attached. I just had to remind myself of that, I wasn't staying here, I didn't belong here. I didn't really belong anywhere.


	2. Chapter 2

Chibs was stubborn, but he was no match for me. He learned that when he tried to refuse my help in cleaning up dinner and I ended up doing it anyway.   
"Let me show you to your room." He told me and I looked at him.  
"Room?"  
"Yeah the guest room. You're my guest." He smiled and I sighed.  
"Chibs, I- I'm not staying, I'm not planning to stay in Charming."   
"Why not?"   
"I was passing through when you saw me and I just-"  
"You have no plans remember? that leaf on the wind shite you told me earlier, why not stick around for a while? What could it hurt?" I don't know why he wanted me to stay but a part of me wanted to stay too. Just for a little while.   
" _For a little while_ A few days." He nodded and leaned down to press his lips to mine. We both froze and I jerked back, he mumbled.   
"Right so uh the guest room." He moved down the hall and I followed behind him. _What the hell was that! It was great! No, no. Not staying remember F/N. Even if he is kind, smells great, and has fantastic lips._   
"Here ya go, the beds clean I washed the sheets and stuff last week. Um oh, the room across the hall had books and stuff if you can't sleep and wanna read or something." I nodded and set my backpack down on the floor by the door. I wasn't gonna unpack so it could stay there.  
  
  
***** **Two Weeks Later** *****  
  
  
I ended up unpacking, and Chibs had been sneaky and had a friend of his buy me more clothes, a lot more clothes. That had caused a minor argument but he told me that he was tired of seeing me in the same three shirts and that I had to get over it. I told him that I would find a way to pay him back whether he liked it or not. During the day he left me at his house while he went to work and usually it was fine, I'd hang out, works on things that he never noticed like tightening screws that were loose, making drawers and cabinets stop squeaking, fixing the leak under the bathroom sink, cleaning the window tracts.   
Today I was feeling my anxiety really bad so I was becoming obsessive. I organized all his cabinets in the kitchen, all the Tupperware was organized and put with their lids, cups were done by glass on one side then plastic on the other and organized by color and size. His pots, pans and skillets were organized next, then I organized his pantry, I cleaned his fridge and organized that, then I found that he had all the ingredients for vegetable beef stew so I started making that. I let that simmer on the stove and went to find something else to clean. I ended up doing the whole house, I dusted, swept, mopped, vacuumed, and cleaned the bathroom within an inch of its life. Chibs wasn't dirty, I was just trying to deal with the anxiety attack I was trying not to have.  
I went into the 'reading room' as I called it, he said there was a few books in there, it was wall to wall books and they were good ones, I had gotten lost in the sci-fi section of his library and found a book. I went to stir the stew, grabbed a drink and settled on the couch to calm down. I hadn't hear him come in so when he walked up behind me and said.   
"Did you clean _everything?_ " I jumped and threw my book at him, thankfully he caught it before it bashed in his pretty face.   
"Sweet TARDIS! You scared the hell outta me Filip! Don't go sneakin' up on a girl like that." He started to laugh and I knew my accent must have been going nuts. He knew to ignore my fangirl references, I think he knew how crazy I was when I talked for an hour and a half about Doctor Who to him. He doesn't ask anymore. "I was going a little crazy so I cleaned some stuff." I got up and went to stir the stew. "Hungry?"   
"Uh sure, you don't have to do that though."   
"Do what feed you?"  
"Clean, fix stuff you think I don't know about, I told you there was no charge for your staying here." I sighed and turned to look at him.   
"I appreciate that I do, but I was having a really bad day with my anxiety so I cleaned, If I over stepped I'm sorry I didn't go into your room at all though." He put a hand on my shoulder.  
"No it's fine, I don't think the place was this clean when I moved in." He looked amused and I smiled softly at him.   
"Eat. I'm gonna go take a shower."   
"You're not gonna eat?"   
"Maybe later, I'm not hungry right now." I smiled and went to get my clothes together. I was washing my hair when I heard the shower curtain slide open and felt Chibs slide in behind me. "Conserving water Filip?" I teased even though my heart was gonna beat out of my chest. _What is he doing?_  
"Well I thought that after your hard work today I could repay you, wash your back for ya." My heart sank a little   
"That's alright, I don't need your pity or repaying." I told him in a quiet voice and I went to step out of the shower.  
"Pity?" He gripped my arm and I turned to glare at him.  
"Yeah, save the poor bruised girl, bring her home and then make her feel special before you kick her out. That's what happens now right? You realized how fucked up I am and want me gone but you want to get your rocks off before I leave." He looked angry as he took my chin in his hand.  
"Look here." He told me when I looked away from him. "I want you. I'm not gonna deny that, and I think you are doing a disservice to us both if you think I feel that way about you. I wanted you the moment I saw you telling off your ex." His eyes were fierce but I didn't see any lies in them. "I'm not kickin' you out, I already knew you were crazy love, and I'm not giving you pity. I'm making the first step to give us both what we want." I nodded and he let go of my chin. I knew that I let him kiss me that it would lead to more and I was ok with that. He made sure that I knew what was coming as he leaned down to press his lips to mine. I liked the way his hands, so rough and calloused were gentle when they touched me, how he made me feel safe and cherished. It had been a long time since anyone treated me the way Chibs treated me that night. About two week later Chibs decided to ask me to meet his 'family'.  
"Chibs can't I just stay here? I really don't think I will fit in there." He wanted to take me to meet his friends at their club house. He told me all about how he was a member of the Sons of Anarchy and what that meant and stood for, I understood and respected that, but he said that he wanted me to be separate from that, so I was surprised when he wanted me to go with him to meet them.   
"Love, C'mon the guys want to meet you. I think this will be great." I looked at him and he looked so excited.   
"Alright, I can do that." I had on my 'Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cake hole' shirt on with ripped jeans and a pair of leather boots that Chibs picked out so that I had enough grip when I rode with him. He knew that meeting new people made my anxiety flare up but I was willing to do this for him. We both cared about each other even if we didn't say it.  
  
  
Meeting the club was interesting, I met Half-Sack first since he was the prospect and he was the one who came to ask Chibs if he needed anything first thing when he walked through the door. He was kind and I saw us becoming friends. Then I met Tig and Jax. Tig was a very intense man but he hugged me and asked if he could 'shut my cake hole' sometime, Chibs smacked him for that which made me laugh. Jax gave off a young vibe, he acted and seemed like he was in his late teens but he was around my age I figured. He made sure that I felt welcomed and he told me that he would come talk with me at the party so I wasn't stuck with Chibs the whole time. Next was Juice and Happy, Juice was like a puppy he was excited to finally meet me and gave me a hug big enough to lift me off of my feet, he told me that he had heard a lot about me and I just smiled because I had heard a lot about him as well. Happy smiled and told me that he was glad to meet me, I took his as a man of few words. Bobby and Gemma were sitting at the bar and Bobby gave me a smile and told me that it was about time Chibs brought me around. Gemma gave me an appraising look and Chibs told her to 'be nice, that I wasn't like the girls that hang around this place.' She just looked at me for a long minute before turning back to her cigarette. Chibs made sure that he stayed close to me until it was time for 'church' which meant a club meeting. I went outside for fresh air once Chibs left my side, I felt jittery and it was hard to calm myself when I was trapped inside. Chibs came out about an hour later and found me sitting on a picnic table.   
"You alright love?" I smiled and nodded  
"Just getting some sunshine." He smiled and took my hand in his.   
"You never did tell me what this meant." He rubbed my tattoo and I grimaced.   
"It's not a pretty story Chibs, are you sure you want to know?" He nodded  
"I think I can handle it darlin." I shook my head and shrugged.  
"Um, It's Latin for 'I will fear no evil.' I got it after my uh my father killed my mother and he came after me. She found him molesting me and freaked out so he stabbed her, I killed him before he could kill me but I almost bled to death and then I tried to kill myself a few weeks later from the guilt, that's why it's above the scars. To remind myself not to fear what I have done just to be glad that I am alive. There is evil and darkness in me and I embrace that now."   
"Mother of Christ." I looked at me for a minute "You're not evil. You did what you have to do to survive." I nodded but looked away from him.   
"Yes I always look out for myself first, I'm selfish that way." He gripped my shoulders and made me look at him.  
"Stop it. You're so strong, you have issues sure, but that doesn't make you a bad person. You did what you had to do to live and that my dear girl is brave if I've ever seen it." I just laughed and he gave me a look.  
"You're being serious? I was called a monster by everyone I've ever told and you're not saying that?" He nodded and I just hugged him. "I don't know what to say to that Chibs."   
"The hug works love." I chuckled and nodded as he wrapped his arms around me.   
"So uh how was church?" I asked and he just sighed.   
"I'll tell ya about it later on at home." I nodded and he kissed my head.   
"You have some interesting friends Chibs." I told him as I saw Tig was watching us and making dirty hand motions. He looked up and laughed but nodded.  
  
  
Two hours later the party was in full swing and I had seen more boobs and ass cheeks then I ever imagined that I would in my lifetime much less in one night. I made the mistake of walking into a dorm room and not a bathroom and saw Bobby and crow eater having some fun. I think I went blind for a few minutes. I was now sitting at a table and Chibs was helping Gemma when a man with a white buzz cut came and sat in the seat beside me. I was trapped between the wall and the table and I felt my anxiety kick up.   
"You're a new one aren't you?" I nodded at him and edged as far to the side as I could. "What's your name?"  
"F/N." I muttered and he put his arm around me.   
"You know who I am?" I looked at the table top and shook my head and he laughed. "That's a tragedy sweetheart. I'm Clay." He put his arm around me and I cringed.   
"Clay I see you met my girl."   
"Chibs, thank god. I mean hi babe." He was not amused and he was glaring at Clay.   
"Your girl?" Clay pulled his arm away from me and he stood up. "I didn't know, no one told me." He smiled at me and walked away. Chibs was watching him walk away and I reached out to touch the back of his hand. His eyes flicked to mine and they weren't warm so I pulled my hand away.   
"You ready to go?"   
"If you are. I'm fine either way." He nodded and motioned his head towards the door so I stood up and walked outside. He didn't say anything as we got on the bike or once we got back to his house so I just kept quiet and went to change. I didn't sleep in there anymore but that is where all my stuff was. I put on a tank top and some yoga pants to sleep in, took off my makeup, and went out to the living room with my book to read for a while. I didn't think Chibs wanted me around him right now so I would leave him alone.   
"You coming to bed?" I jumped when I heard his voice behind me.   
"Uh, yeah in a while I guess." I muttered and he came to put his hand on my shoulder. I flinched and looked away from him.   
"Hey no, I'm not mad at you love, I was mad at Clay. He shouldn't be flirting since he's married but especially not with-" He broke off and ran a hand through his hair.   
"With?" I asked  
"With my old lady, except you're not my old lady, you're only here until you decide to leave." He sounded frustrated and a little sad as he said it.   
"Chibs." He wouldn't look at me so I got up and stood in front of him, taking his face in my hands. "I'm not leaving, I can't leave you." His eyes found mine and I saw them start to light up.   
"You're not gonna leave?" I shook my head. "Why not?" I just smiled, stood on my tip toes and pressed my lips to his.  
  
Later that night I was wrapped up in his arms in bed and I remembered, "Oh hey you never told me about church." He sighed and rubbed his chin against my head.   
"I'm gonna be keeping you close to home or have Half-Sack with you a lot of the time for a while. We are having issues with the Irish and it's gonna get ugly before it gets any better."   
"They wouldn't mess with me, no one even knew about me until tonight."   
"That's not the point love, it's for my own piece of mind not because I think you'll be at risk." I nodded and felt the tension drain out of him. I knew he thought I'd give him a hard time about it.   
"I like Half-Sack, he is sweet." Chibs looked at me and I rolled my eyes. "Not like that, he was really nice to me and made sure that no one screwed with me while you were helping Gemma earlier is all." He smiled and nodded at me.   
"I think I'll be taking you to work with me tomorrow if you're ok with that? I like having you around me during the day, you think the mechanic work I do is amazing, its a good moos booster." I elbowed him gently and he laughed.   
"I'll be sure to give you a hard tome tomorrow then." I chuckled and he groaned.   
"Looking forward to it love. Get some rest." I nodded and we fell asleep wrapped up together.


	3. Chapter 3

Chibs was honest when he told you he was having either himself or someone else with you at all times, sometimes you were with him, sometimes you were with Half-Sack, and sometimes you were with Tara and Half-Sack together. Tara was Jax's old lady and you and her became close in the last few weeks. She was glad to have another female around that wasn't Gemma and knew the struggle of club life. Tara had asked me if I would babysit for her since she had to work and Jax had club stuff. I told her of course I would, I loved being around little Abel and Jax trusted me with him. Chibs dropped me off at Jax's but he followed me inside so he could talk to Half-Sack.   
"I've got a feeling kid, keep an eye on her for me alright?" Half-Sack nodded and Chibs came to give me a hug and kiss before he left. "Be safe love, I'll be back to pick you up soon alright?" I nodded and smiled at him.   
"Don't worry so much, it'll age you." I teased and he gave me a grin before he kissed my head and left. I hung around and cleaned Jax's place, fed and changed Abel, put him down for his nap in the kitchen so I could keep an eye on him. Tara came home a little while later after her meeting and Half-Sack got called away for an hour. Tara and I were talking in the kitchen when he burst through the back door again. Half-Sack looked terrified and told us to run a split second before the back door burst open and a deranged looking man ran in.   
"Cameron calm down, this isn't Tara or F/N's fault. Please."   
"Whose she?" He pointed a gun at me and I felt Tara tense beside me.   
"No one, she's a friend of Tara's from work." Half-Sack lied. Cameron cocked his gun and aimed it at him.  
"Don't lie to me boy-o."  
"I'm Chibs old lady." I muttered and he looked at me.   
"Really?" He looked surprised when I nodded. Abel started to fuss and Tara went to pick him up but Cameron snatched him up first. "You know why I'm here boy-o?"   
"The ATF lady killed your son and blamed Gemma." He said and Cameron's face contorted with rage.   
"No! Gemma **killed** my boy! Jax needs to pay for that and I figured a son for a son is a fair trade." He picked up a knife and held it against Abel.   
"Don't hurt him, he is just a baby!" Tara yelled and he back handed her, she fell and hit her head on the table knocking herself out. I stepped closer to him and Half-Sack stepped in between us.   
"My son was a baby once! Doesn't that mean anythin' to ya!" He was losing it. Half- Sack lunged for Abel and Cameron stabbed him.   
"No! Kipp!" I cried and caught him before he hit the ground. Cameron pulled his gun out and pointed it at me.   
"Get up." He demanded.  
"Screw you. You just killed my best friend." I buried my face against Half-Sack and cried, I had just watched him die. Cameron grabbed e by the hair and pulled me to my feet. "I think Jimmy O will like to meet another of Chibs Ladies. You're coming with me." We heard a motorcycle pulling up and He tugged me outside to his car. I screamed and Cameron back handed me with the gun before he shoved me into the car. I saw Jax and Chibs running out of the house and I screamed again   
"Chibs!"   
"Shut up, here hold him!" He shoved the baby into my arms and screeched away from the curb. I heard Chibs yelling my name and Jax yelling for Abel but I could do nothing about it, we were speeding away and I was terrified. I started to rock Abel, trying to get him to calm down since he was screaming at this point. I knew that my survival depended on keeping myself and Abel quiet so I just went along for the ride. He drove us to the docks, he was looking for a boat when we heard motorcycles drive up behind us, he shoved me onto one and we took off just as I caught sight of Chibs and Jax heading for us. We sped off and I heard Jax yell out as Chibs fisted his hands in his hair. I could have jumped off the boat but I couldn't swim and hold Abel above water I couldn't swim at all actually and I wouldn't leave Abel with Cameron. Cameron took us up to Oakland where he got papers for us and from there we headed to Vancouver I had never been to Canada before but call me crazy but I just couldn't enjoy it like I would have liked too. I remember it being cold and hoping that Abel was warm enough as I bundled him in my flannel shirt. After Cameron called a few people, setting up insurances he had said we left there to fly to Ireland.   
He left Abel and I with Maureen Ashby his cousin, he wouldn't tell us where he was going and he told me to mind my own fuckin business before he left, and that was the last time I ever saw Cameron Hayes. I met a nice woman named Cherry who brought me some baby supplies for Abel and I was surprised when she told me about being from Charming. She asked me about Half-Sack while I was feeding him and I just couldn't tell her. I had to take Abel with me into the bathroom under the guise of changing him while I mourned the death of my friend. There was a knock on the door and I flinched.   
"Just a minute." I called out   
"C'mon out someone's here for ya." I sighed, wiped my face and opened the door. I stepped out and saw a man dressed in a fancy suit, he gave me what I supposed would have been a kind smile if he hadn't been so creepy. I could tell Maureen and Cherry didn't like him but they acted like they did and I knew that I should too.   
"Aren't you a beauty. What's your name?"  
"F/N." I told him and I clutched Abel a bit tighter.  
"I am Jimmy O'Phelan, that's Jax Teller's boy?" I nodded and looked away from him. "We're gonna leave him here and you're gonna come with me now love, alright?"  
"I would like to take him with us if you don't mind. I-He won't be any trouble." I pleaded and he gave a soft sigh before he stepped closer to me. He slapped my face and I felt my lip split open again.   
"You don't get to ask for things. **I call the shots here.** However I do like your accent lovely and I think that if Jax Teller see's that I have his child and that Scot see's that I have his woman the club will fall to itty bitty pieces and I am all for that. So fine, bring the brat. But remember that you can have him because I let you." I nodded and he tugged us from the house. I wish that I could tell you that Jimmy stuck Abel and I in a room by ourselves and left us alone but that would be a lie. He had made it very clear that he wanted me and he would use whatever means necessary to get me. He waited until that night to come to me and tell me that he would kill Abel if I refused him so I did what I had to do to keep that baby safe. I let Jimmy fuck me and while it was horrible, I felt dirty and I felt disgusted I was doing it for Jax, and Abel and I prayed that Chibs would never find out. After he was done, I went to get dressed and he punched my face. "I didn't say you could get up yet did I?" I shook my head and I just laid there until he reached over and moved my arm to his lap. I felt something white hot get stuck to my wrist and I cried out as it burned into me. "Gotta leave my mark on ya dearie. Filip needs to know that I had another thing that was his in my possession." I felt my eyes water and I pulled my wrist away from him. He told me to go back to Abel and get some sleep so I grabbed my clothes and scrambled away from him. I gathered Abel close to me and I rocked him as I cried and had an anxiety attack.  
  
  
Morning came too soon and Jimmy pulled me out of the room to have his way with me again, making sure he left bruises and marks on my face and neck for everyone to seen. He told me that we were going to a meeting with the guys today and that I had to look 'just a picture' as he hit me and used me. I cried out as he kicked my ribs and i must've blacked out because next thing I knew I was being nudged awake and handed Abel as we pulled into a parking lot. I saw my guys standing in a group by A van and felt my heart sink. I didn't want Chibs to see me like this but I got no say and Jimmy hauled us out of the car. Chibs took one look at me and I saw his face fill with rage. Jax yelled out asking about Abel and I croaked at him.  
"He's fine, I kept him safe." Jax frowned at the rough sound of my voice but nodded. Jimmy flung his arm over my shoulder and I cringed as he pressed against my ribs.   
"I took good care of the lovely F/N for ya Filip. Nice and tight ain't she. And that accent, the way she cries out is something else ain't it?" He grinned and I heard Chibs make a horrified noise. "She came willingly too. I think she even liked it." I looked stricken and stared at Chibs shaking my head.  
"No! He said he'd kill Abel if I didn't Chibs, I didn't want-" Jimmy punched me and I fell to the ground. I heard the guys yell out and then all hell broke loose. Chibs charged at Jimmy and knocked him to the ground, Jax ran over to me and hauled me to my feet before he took Abel and dragged me away. Jimmy shoved Chibs off and pulled his gun, Chibs pulled his and Jimmy ran to duck behind the building.   
"Chibs, lets go! We need to leave now!" Jax shouted at him and Chibs turned and locked eyes with me, he nodded and ran over to us.  
"Sweetheart are you alright?" Jax asked me and I just nodded. We piled into the van and headed to the airport no one really said anything but Jax stuck really close to me and I was grateful but I also just wanted Chibs. We made it back home what felt like days later and Juice dropped Chibs and I off at his house first before he took the rest back to TM. Jax hugged me and told me that he would see me later I nodded and followed Chibs up the driveway. He opened the door and I just went inside feeling defeated, I knew what I had to do but I was showering first and then I would deal with that. I walked past him into my room and grabbed clothes before I went and locked myself in the bathroom to shower, and scrub and cry until the hot water ran out. I scrubbed my skin until I bled and even then it wasn't enough but I finally felt somewhat normal again. I turned off the water, got dressed, and prepared myself to go confront Chibs. He was sitting on the floor outside the door when I opened it.   
"You locked me out." He told me in a quiet voice.   
"I didn't think you'd want in." I cleared my throat as it cracked. "I thought that I disgusted you." He looked at me with a look I didn't recognize and I continued. "Look, I know what you're gonna say so just skip it. I'll go pack and I'll be out before you know it." I turned to walk past him and his hand shot out to grip my good wrist and I looked away from him. "Don't make this harder."   
"I want to talk to you." I shook my head and he stood up and took my face in his hands. "Yes, I want you to tell me what happened F/N, tell me what he did to you please." I looked at him.  
"It isn't a pretty story Chibs, are you sure you wanna know?" He gave me a look and I grimaced. I told him everything from start to finish, I tried to skip over the details of what Jimmy did to me but he wouldn't let me. After he was done he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom where he had the first aid kit laid out, he bandaged the cuts on my face and when he took my wrist in his hand I felt him get angry. I tried to pull away and he gave me a dirty look.   
"Stop it. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad that you got hurt because of me." I shook my head and climbed onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around me and I nuzzled my face into his neck.   
"I got hurt because I chose to. I did what I had to do to keep Abel safe and alive Chibs, that was my choice and yes I'll be a little more broken now but I don't regret it. He is a baby and I couldn't live with myself if anything bad happened to him that I could have prevented." He sighed and ran his hand over my head, through my hair and down my back softly before he nodded.  
"I love ya darlin'." I just let him hold me, I couldn't say anything back to him just then.  
  
  
We went to the club house to check in with the rest of the guys and I got a lot of hugs from everyone. Gemma even came up to me and told me that she was grateful that I kept Abel safe and alive, she hugged me and welcomed me to the family which was nice of her. I knew Chibs had told Jax what happened because he came and pulled me outside when I was in the middle of talking to Juice. He pulled me into a tight hug and I knew that he was trying not to get emotional by the way he was breathing.  
"Jax, it's ok."  
"You didn't have to do that, any of that for him. He isn't yours and you don't even really know me."  
"He is innocent Jax, he is a baby and I could keep him safe so I did." I shrugged and he just looked at me with awe struck eyes for a minute  
"I'll never be able to thank you enough for doing what you did for him and for me but you are family now no matter what and I will keep you safe. He told me in a serious tone before he nodded and took me back inside. I went to sit at the bar by Chibs when Jax gets a call. He tells Chibs something and Chibs looks at me and he tugs me outside.   
"I have to go do something, I want you to come with me and I think it will be good for you if you want to come." Jax scoffs and looks at me.  
"I don't think this is a good idea Chibs."  
"What is it?" I asked and Chibs ignored Jax.  
"You think that you have evil and dark in ya, I want to show you mine. Will ya come?" I nodded and he pulled me over to his bike so that we could go. We pulled up behind a police car and I saw that Jimmy O was standing there I stiffened and Chibs took my hand in his as Jax put a hand on my back.   
"Filip! How lovely to see ya and the fantastic F/N again. I missed you darlin'" I lunged at him and Jax held me back. I looked at Chibs and he gave me a smile before he walked up to Jimmy.  
"I've been waiting a lot of years to do this Jimmy." He said in icy cold resolve.   
"Take care of our girls Filip, Yeah?" He said as he looked Chibs dead in the eye. Chibs took a knife from his pocket and gave Jimmy the same Glasgow smile that Jimmy gave him before he stabbed him to death. He painted something on the windshield of the cop car and Jax made sure that I didn't get to close to it for some reason. Chibs came over to me and pulled me into a hug.  
"Scared of me now love?"  
"No, but you could have at least hit him for me." He chuckled and nodded at me before we got on his bike and left with Jax following behind us. We went back to the club house and Jax and Chibs sat me down and told me that they would have to go to jail for bail jumping. I nodded and Jax left Chibs and I alone to talk.   
"I want you to wait for me love. I know that asking a lot after everything you just went through but please I love you and I want you here when I get to come home. I want to come home to you." I looked at him and smiled.   
"You asked me why I couldn't leave you a while back and I never answered because I didn't know why. I know why now because its the same reason that I won't leave now. I can't leave you because I love you Chibs." He grinned and pulled me into a kiss, I felt all the tings that I had dreamed of feeling for most of my life with him and yeah being with him had put him and myself through awful things and I'm sure it will again, however I love him and I would walk through hell for him every single day.


End file.
